But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
