I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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