So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
