He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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