Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we're making bets on your personal life
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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