and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
