I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
