Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
