I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
