honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
