Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
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