who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
