The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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