I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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