State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
