we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
