If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
