i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
