is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
