Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
