she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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