I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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