They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
