I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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