So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
