ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
