i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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