I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I want to fling myself into the sun
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
