All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
