Whod you bang
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
