Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
