so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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