I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
