We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
