Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
