Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
