Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
