ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
