walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
