I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
