Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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