I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Sober January is a disaster.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
