Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
