So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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