You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This is my gift to your gina
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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