according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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