I accidentally had phone sex last night
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
