Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
