Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
