she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
