So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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