i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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