I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
