remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
